When you look back and reflect on your life, sometimes reminiscing about life changing moments verses the best or worst times is a great way to truly appreciate where you are now in life.
Not only physically but also morally.
Today I remembered a dark time in my life, my Mother had just divorced my Step-father and I had broken off a long relationship with a very close friend.
In a moment of justified confusion and anger, I stormed out of my broken families new apartment into the rain and ran towards home.
Wherever it would find me.
I felt as if I could pound down the pavement of every city in America on my quest for HOME!
To my surprise I stopped short of three blocks, in a line of lamp-posts, one close was burnt out completely.
I felt the connection between the smoldering fire of emotions within my heart and the flickering bulb above me.
So I stood below it, long brown hair dripping with rain water, and cried.
I sobbed for my Mother. I sobbed for my little sister. I sobbed for my friends and my family.
I bawled for my cat. I bawled for my ex-boyfriend. I bawled for my classmates, just starting high school.
Mainly I cried for my own dwindeling self worth.
I had gained so much weight. Like every pore in my body held a five pound stone of unhappiness and doubt.
I whispered to nobody in particular, "what now?" before continuing my tear fest.
Just when I thought I would literally drown in salt and fog....the light above me turned on.
Steady this time, like a sign that even in the worst of storms can pass.
I was worth it. I would be ok.
Maybe not immediately but soon enough, I just had to be patient.
Flicker a little.
Here I am today. Thank God!
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