I found my place in the world. I remember when my sister Alex and I were in high school she decided she wanted to learn about Buddhism and meditation practices often associated with Yoga. She read a short book outlining the practices and we sat out to meditate.
One of the suggestions the book had was to first imagine "your place". Pick somewhere-usually the first place that comes to mind you feel encompasses your inner peace. At the time I thought my place was the beach, for awhile it was. But as with many things you discover in childhood, that too has shifted. The second is to quiet your mind, easier said than done!
A helpful tip given was to first imagine what "your place" smelled like. Salty. Count one two...
Then imagine what your place sounded like. Windy and the Seagulls squawked in the distance. three four...
Now imagine what your place feels like. Grainy soft sand and wispy grass tickling my legs. five six...
Finally imagine what your place looks like. seven eight...Suddenly the ocean appeared in all its gory. The tufts of grass poking through the moon white sand. The muted blue salty water rumbling towards-falling short by only a few inches- only to retreat back into itself. The foam and seaweed left behind writhing in the breeze. The seagulls pecking at bubbles in search for a clam or sand flea. The clouds churning above only allowing peaks of the brilliant sunshine through. Finally little droplets of warm summer rain sprinkled my shoulders and bare feet. nine ten...and I was gone.
We would reawaken after fifteen minutes or so feeling rejuvenated-legs still crossed.
But we were never groggy because you weren't sleeping, actually- you were locating your spiritual sanctuary.
I found out my place had changed a little. I still picture the ocean but I only find it when I'm lying next to Kyle. Our legs run a line down each other and meet up by our toes. My arm is outstretched diagonally over his chest and my palm is tucked under his shoulder--like we are dancing lying down. His arm reaches over my back gently. Finally, and most importantly- my head is on his chest and my ear is right above his heart. I listen to it beat as he drifts in and out of consciousness. I study his freckled face and his long black eye lashes and wonder how I could ever love someone so much. And then I'm gone.
