Dress Code...

I start my new job at Starbucks Coffee tomorrow! I have never worked as a barista and I am kind of nervous about learning the equipment and dealing with high stress situations- which I haven't really encountered anything like a drive-through in a long time in my job history. In fact when I worked at Taco Bell for a month I SUCKED.  Props to you fast food workers, you are awesome. Memorizing weird abbreviations for foods and making them in under two minutes. Bravo! Listening to some snatch cuss you out over a two dollar quesadilla mishap without losing your cool? Congrats! But I did not cut the mustard.

But I'm really not that nervous about anything as much as the dress code!

1.) I hate collared shirts. I think they look too masculine on me and coupled with my beak of a nose I look like a "butch lesbian"...at least what I imagine that stereotype to look like. No offence to "manly" lesbians. Go Love! But not my style AT ALL. I can't pull one off- I asked and they do permit turtle necks...too bad not a single store I've been to thus far sells a turtle neck for under fifty bucks that isn't awful/my size. 

2.) Khaki pants...when I think of khaki pants I think of a 40 yr old male going on vacation to Hawaii, or at least dressing like he is. Usually accompanied by a flower/surfing/post cards printed COLLARED shirt.That or a golfing man. Both examples of men. Ugh. I have seen a few gals pulling off khaki pants but NOT ME. I feel like I look bloated and they are too close/ too far from skin color- it's an odd color. EW!

3.) Black pants. I'm partially ok with that. I really don't understand why hardly any workplaces allow blue jeans anymore. The baby boomers are in retirement-NO ONE CARES. Plus, EVERYONE looks better in blue jeans. They don't even specify a type-it can be skinny or whatever so I know it's not about offending anyone. They just don't want blue jeans because of a ridiculous notion set decades ago. Maybe I should wear high heels while I vacuum too!

4.)Brown OR Black close-toed shoes. Excuse me when did brown get thrown in? So now I am left with man shirt, black pants and black shoes. :C Funeral much?

5.) NO Tattoos. Hmm. So now I have to put a band-aid on my hand. IT'S A PEACE SIGN FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! Who does that offend and do we really want to give that Nazi coffee anyhow? NO. 

6.) Hair pulled into a pony tail. Ok...my hair is in that awkward stage right now where it's too long to leave down-too short to pull up high enough to look good. UGLY. So now little hairs will be slipping out of my pony tail all day making me look like a dork.

7.)Green apron. LOVE IT! Something to hide behind. 

WISH ME LUCK I NEED IT!