Pfft,

I just want to find me again-I need to stop driving myself over cliffs and take a few feet back. I hate to leave all of this behind but I don't know if ignoring my feelings is such a great idea. I don't know if I can swallow moving on with all of the plans Kyle and I made for college here together-alone. I really hate being a quitter but maybe transferring home and finishing school there is the best idea. I know my family and friends will be proud of me either way but I know if I stay here and power through it they will be way happier. But if I'm miserable the whole time? I think Oregon is just a reminder of a dream Kyle walked away from. This duplex, the cats, the university..literally everything just reminds me of him or us. I know he will be with me no matter where I go but at least back home I will have my whole support system to keep me out of an emotional gutter. I want someone to take control and make my decisions for me because at the end of the day the only person I will have to blame is me. I guess I am an adult now and I just have to buck up and figure this out. Things would be so much easier when I had my better half. Sigh.
I want to get back to this.