People don't like sad people--it's hard to realize but my friends and family are getting pretty sick of the negativity. I can't be happy just so everyone isn't so uncomfortable with my depression. I need and want to be in a better emotional state but that won't happen overnight...or apparently after three months either.
I also realized that filling my head with tv and my laptop isn't going to help me cope-it's just going to postpone the "healing process". Every time I have a quiet moment he fills my head and then I literally just start crying my eyes out. I cry at least three times a day on average. Even typing that makes me so upset with myself! I wish I could fast forward through all of this but that's impossible! </3
No they don't. But it's important to remember that it's not because they think less of you, it's just because being around someone who is sad makes you sad. And that's not a good feeling. It doesn't excuse things, it's just something to keep in mind. Focus on the positives of not being in a relationship. I know they're hard to see right now and maybe even painful but try. You have your whole life ahead of you. I know your dreams and goals seem less without him in them, but they aren't. You still have people to share them with, you can still accomplish great things. And now you don't have to wait for approval from someone else to follow your dreams.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dogert-
DeleteI know I can be happy without him it's just that my mind can't hardly wrap around wanting to be. I will keep chugging away and thanks for the comment.
Oh B, sometimes people change and ideally couples grow together, but sometimes growing apart is that the only choice we are given. It sounds like the depression and the circumstance are different yet you are trying to heal the same. Sorry for the unwelcomed advice -- you DO have the whole rest of your life in front of you and 20 years from now you will look back and see that while it was painful, it will make you the person you are supposed to become. Trust that -- Center yourself and surround yourself with things that comfort you -- words, books, art -- when you find "you" when you begin to discover where "she" went you will have more direction -- and maybe some light would help too. Call if you need; I am here to listen. Chin up okay?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment Jen. Even though we were married young I was still shocked that he wanted to move out. I will try to enjoy some little things in life but it's been hard.
Delete