The Very Dramatic Girl (unedited version)

And then there was one...

Everything dated by that boy back home,
Knowing how nostalgic she is;
As if she would want to remember a time like this one:
A period of sorrow and self destruction.

Cracking the lid open night after night;
A tomb of holey t-shirts and cologne bottles you'd have to tip sideways to get a squirt out of.
Stuffing her face into every bit of it
Desperately hoping to catch a whiff of the past.

With no regard for the dead,
Tears soak into the decrepit cloth-
Her own scent spoiling those precious moments
stirred from each stitch.

Spent diamonds glitter on a finger with an infinite dent;
Just feeling how good it truly was to settle back there in the dead of night,
Only to be gnawingly removed and
hidden at each relentless dawn of people who cared-and rightfully so.

Fighting the essence of lingering commitment,
stealing the day away.
A piece of her crumbles with the best of them.
Struggling so hopelessly not to forget a single atom of "them", "we", and "us".

Etching every remaining fuzzy memory back into the current,
Like a boulder in a shallow river of want.
What was it he had said way back when?
"I promise."

They differ so in that way,
His words like writing vows in pencil-
Oh, how they dulled with use, edited.
Erased.

Her words like dried lavender.
Bold as spring.
Exact, distinct, sharper, and intended.
Permanent.

"I love you."
"I love you more."

getvegucated.com

I am really proud to be a vegetarian. I am proud of the lives I've spared, the eyebrows I've raised, the networking I've done, the weight I've lost, the compassion I've shared, the foods I've tried, the inspirations I've met, the global movement I am a part of;
This is my greatest accomplishment.
I am a piece in the puzzle that will help salvage what's left of our depleted planet and I love it!

Transitions

Fall forward then backward

Like waves in a tide.

Fall faster then slower

Like leaves in the breeze.

Fall harder then softer

Like stride in the sand.

Fall deeper then shallow

Like rain giving in.

Falling in love

Like it's meant to be...but

Falling for me 

is like patching silk.

Falling for me 

is like running blind.

Falling for me

is like painting off canvas.

Falling for me 

is like rebuilding a house barehanded.

Falling is freeing and easy to be,

but falling together is hopeful-we'll see. 

Bloom

Well I'm really starting to miss school! I loved getting my final grades-so rewarding! Fingers crossed that I get into the University of Washington. I'm starting to settle into being alone although it isn't my favorite I will survive after all. No one will ever be my Kyle, but maybe someday I will have his room packed up and a new happy can settle in the empty spaces.

The REAL Grumpy Cat

I love my baby boy so much, but he is real bully sometimes to Molly. I wish I hadn't let my old room mate Natalia move in with her demon cat-he learned a lot of nasty attitude from her at a young age. I'm hoping the love and work Nickala, Kyle and I have put into him helps things. We moved the cat tree into the living room so they are more tempted to use it when we are all up so they can be in the action and not have to go hide in my room to climb on it. Between the multiple cat boxes, the cat tree, and all of their toys I am running out of patience and Molly isn't too happy with him.

Fingers Crossed

He is pushing me away because he can't deal with the guilt of leaving me. It's not fair-I don't deserve this. </3

I applied at the University of Washington today and it felt like a step in the right direction. 

I'm trying to move forward. 

I hope it works.

Dwelling

People don't like sad people--it's hard to realize but my friends and family are getting pretty sick of the negativity. I can't be happy just so everyone isn't so uncomfortable with my depression. I need and want to be in a better emotional state but that won't happen overnight...or apparently after three months either.
I also realized that filling my head with tv and my laptop isn't going to help me cope-it's just going to postpone the "healing process". Every time I have a quiet moment he fills my head and then I literally just start crying my eyes out. I cry at least three times a day on average. Even typing that makes me so upset with myself! I wish I could fast forward through all of this but that's impossible! </3